With so many different lubricants on the market, how do you pick the one that’s right for you?
The sheer number of options can seem overwhelming. As a result, people don’t always make the most informed decisions. Many select lubes like they select bottles of wine, basing their decision solely on the name and/or label. Others narrow it down strictly by chemistry: water, silicone, organic, flavoured, and so on.
But there’s a better way to do it, and it involves stepping back and asking:
“What kind of person am I when I’m masturbating or having sex?”
In other words, what’s your lube personality? Finding your ideal lube isn’t just a matter of finding one with the right ingredients. It’s also about things such as how your body responds to touch, the physical sensations you enjoy, your sensitivity level, your sexual style, and the types of intimate experiences you want to create.
To get clarity, start by asking yourself:
- What kinds of sexual activities do I like?
- Am I playing alone or with a partner? If I have a partner, what brings them pleasure? For example, do they like using toys?
- Am I (or my partner) prone to infections, skin irritation, or painful sex?
- What’s my sexual tempo? Slow and sensual, or fast and intense?
- Am I looking to keep things simple, or introduce something new?
When you get clear about who you are in the bedroom, you’ll find that it’s much easier to identify the type of lube that will be the best fit for your body and sex life.
Why Making a Personalised Lube Choice Matters
As we’ve discussed on the blog before, lubricated sex is pleasurable sex. For men and women alike, research finds that using lube during sexual activity often leads to higher ratings of pleasure, satisfaction, and comfort, even when natural lubrication is already present.
That makes sense from a physiological standpoint. One of the main things lube does is reduce friction. And while a little friction can feel good, too much of it can cause discomfort or pain, contribute to microscopic tears in genital tissue, and increase the chances of condom breakage. Reducing friction can therefore make sex not only more pleasurable, but also safer.
However, not all lubes behave the same way. Factors such as the pH level of a lube can affect different people’s bodies in different ways. For example, a woman with sensitive skin who uses a lube with a pH balance that’s far outside the vagina’s natural pH range could potentially experience irritation or recurrent infections. Likewise, someone who prefers very long sexual sessions may find that certain lubes just don’t last long enough to provide comfort throughout.
These are just some of the many reasons why the “right” lube isn’t universal. It’s uniquely personal, and that’s why knowing your lube personality really matters. Below we’ll consider four common types of lube personalities. You may see yourself clearly in one or recognize pieces of yourself in several. But as you read on, think about what resonates with you the most.
Lube Personality #1: The Comfort Seeker
Consistent comfort is your top priority. Maybe you have a history of irritation, yeast infections, or UTIs. Perhaps your skin is especially sensitive. Or maybe your body has changed due to childbirth or menopause, and that has affected how your body responds to touch, making sex uncomfortable or painful at times.
If this is you, the key is to find a lube that works with your body, not against it.
In general, this means looking for formulas that are water-based, pH balanced, glycerin and paraben free, and without extra features like scents, flavors, and warming agents.
A strong option in this category is Astroglide Pure & Simple. Made with 100% naturally derived ingredients, it’s an ultra-gentle, pH-balanced, water-based option designed with comfort and simplicity in mind.
Lube Personality #2: The Long-Lasting Lover
Staying power is crucial for you. You want a lube that doesn’t need to be reapplied frequently so that you can stay in the moment, focusing on connection and pleasure. Whether you’re engaging in a long, slow session, a higher-friction activity like anal play, or having shower sex, you want a lube that can go the distance.
Silicone-based lubes are often the best fit here because they aren’t absorbed in the skin the way water-based formulas are. They stick around longer and provide a more consistent glide, reducing the need for interruptions. For extended sessions, this will help to minimise friction and maintain comfort.
A strong option in this category is Astroglide X Premium Silicone Liquid, which is formulated for long-lasting performance. It’s also hypoallergenic, glycerin and paraben free, and condom compatible, making it a solid choice if you’re looking to balance durability, comfort, and safety.
Lube Personality #3: The Sensual Explorer
You don’t want sex to be the same every time—you crave variety. Bringing new sensations and activities into the bedroom keeps things exciting for you.
Research finds that most people enjoy bringing a little novelty into sex from time to time because it heightens pleasure and helps to sustain desire. But some people have a stronger need for novelty than others, and if that’s you, experimenting with different lubes can be an easy way to mix things up.
If you’re a Sensual Explorer, look for lubes with added features, like flavours or warming and tingling sensations. You may even want to have a few different options on hand so that you can adapt things to your mood at any given moment.
Some options to consider would be Astroglide Birthday Cake, Juicy Peach, or Sensual Strawberry, which can add new dimension to oral exploration. You might also look at Astroglide Quiver for a subtle tingling sensation, or Lube Plus Libido if you’re looking for a pleasure enhancer.
One important note: if you’re a Sensual Explorer with sensitive skin, lubes with added features may not be ideal for you. Start with small quantities and try using them externally before applying internally to see how your body reacts.
Lube Personality #4: The Toy Enthusiast
For you, toys are a regular part of your sex life. Whether that’s vibrators, dildos, masturbation sleeves, couples’ toys, or other devices, you like to have options—and you need a versatile lube that plays well with all of them. Compatibility matters.
Some silicone lubes can degrade silicone toys over time, so a water-based formula is typically a safer and more flexible choice. They’re also easier to clean up and condom compatible.
That’s where Astroglide Toy ‘N Joy comes in. This water-based formula was specifically designed with toys in mind and tested to be safe on most toy surfaces, making it a worthy option for anyone who regularly incorporates toys into their bedroom activities.
Takeaways
If you see yourself in more than one of these categories, that’s completely normal. Maybe you switch back and forth between some of them. Or maybe you’re both a Long-Lasting Lover and a Toy Enthusiast. Or perhaps you’re a Comfort Seeker with a Sensual Explorer streak.
The concept of a “lube personality” isn’t to put you in a rigid box because most people aren’t just one thing in the bedroom—and who you are in bed can shift across situations, partners, and time.
Also, if you don’t really see yourself in any of these categories, that’s okay too.
The point of all of this is to give you some guideposts for making intentional lube choices based on how your own unique body works, the sensations and activities you enjoy, and the kinds of intimate experiences you want to have.
The science is clear: lube is associated with enhanced pleasure, comfort, and satisfaction, while also making sex safer in some ways. But there’s isn’t just one best lube. There’s only the best fit for you. And it’s possible that the best fit might involve having a few different varieties on hand so that you always have what you need in the moment.
When you approach lube selection with personalisation and intentionality in mind, you’re far more likely to wind up with something that does what lube is supposed to do, which is to make sex better. So, focus on finding the lube(s) that matches who you are in the bedroom.